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From the Activism Issue (Nov 2000):
Fed Sez Fed Nookie Master Mix As if it isn't difficult enough to desire a relationship and not be able to obtain one, Americans have the added "bonus" of living within a society that makes mockery of this yearning a national sport. Beautiful people are paid obscene amounts of money to perform in television shows that depict them falling in and out of relationships faster than the average person can recuperate from a bad cold. We function within the confines of a calendar that includes pitfalls like Valentine's Day, a holiday which purportedly gives happy couples an occasion to "express their love" (read: screw like dogs in heat, as if any of those lucky bastards need a calendar-based excuse anyway) while plunging anyone who is not among the chosen into a bitter haze of jealousy, self-loathing, violent tendencies, and... er.... Not that anyone on the staff of the Fed is pathetic enough to have experienced such thoughts firsthand, but we have pity for those poor sods who wish that relationships didn't matter so damn much, that there wasn't a societal prejudice against the people who will gladly screw anyone they damn well feel like just because they can. But the cards are still stacked against anyone who chooses to survive without participating in a "proper relationship." Ever an enlightening force, the Fed is convinced that it is extraordinarily common practice for such wounded souls to use music to help them cope with the sad reality of their lives, to put the teenage angst that each of us imagines is unique to ourselves into a catchy, and easily quotable, three to five minute format. Through the ages, countless ballads have been written about love, lust, betrayal and duplicity. In hopes of combatting the dangerously exposed desires that result, legions of alterna-Christian rockers have churned out musical treatises on the value of keeping one's panties on. Since rebellion against the accepted moral code is a nearly unstoppable force, however, there's an equally powerful musical tradition concerned with glorifying the folks that want no part of "getting involved" beyond pure physicality. It is admittedly a heck of a lot easier to be won over by those musicians who advocate the pleasure principle. And why not? Humanity is, with good cause, obsessed with the people who have given up on playing coy and prefer their independence to the security that comes with being possessed. Women who enslave men (and vice versa) are outwardly derided, but their biggest detractors are probably also the most envious. Why settle for a single devotee when you can have three, or four, or a hundred? With that logic in mind we present a list of songs and some sample lyrics that celebrate sluts by whatever name they take, be they wenches or slatterns or temptresses, designed to make the transition from pristine angel to flaming whore a seamless one. Brought to you by the Fed (inspiring questionable virtue since 1997.)
"For Lovin' Me" - Peter, Paul & Mary
"I Jus' Lie" - Snot
"Girls! Girls! Girls!" - Liz Phair
"Oops! I Did It Again" - Britney Spears
"Stuff" -- MU-330
"Ain't No Fun (If the Homies Can't Have None" -- Snoop Doggy Dogg et al (Kurupt)
"Always True To You (In My Fashion)" - from Kiss Me Kate
"Dirty Girl" - Sexpod
"Young Lust" -- Pink Floyd
"Rough Sex" -- Lords of Acid |
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