 |
|
|
From the Mammon Issue (May 2000):
Manifestos Expedition to Lone Barnard Bathroom Reveals "Message" Erin Thompson The following article is the result of a brief foray into a single bathroom stall of the Wollman Library on the scenic Barnard campus. The bathroom stall itself was not particularly scenic. It is not to be taken as a complete listing, but rather as a preliminary outline for further research into this fascinating area. To protect the delicate eyes of our more sensitive readers, I recommend not looking directly at the sun. As well, I've employed some euphemistic formulas: the word used as a colloquial nickname for both Richard Nixon and a certain pert of his anatomy will be replaced by "Nixon"; and the word who entomology was explained to me by my high school history teacher as being a dramatically shorted form of "fornicate under command of the king" will be replaced by "hosmer" (as a sort of tribute to that memorable instructor). Unfortunately, some of the most promising inscriptions were obscured by inept restoration of the cubical paint surface; fascinating messages have been destroyed - most sadly, an entire paragraph entitled "How to Give a..." which has been covered. Only the last sentence ("Have fun!") is still visible, along with a fragment of a rely: "...you do this?" that reveals doubt about the veracity of the instructions. Some phrases stood in isolation, like the enigmatic "Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right" A.D. . Some, though highly controversial, were either too recent or too remote to garner replies: "Ani Difranco is lame" being a prime example. Those such as "Learn how to spell ignoramos!" (sic) in standing alone, function as a criticism of the whole stall. More enthralling are the call and response dialogs , excerpts from which are given below:
1. "Hosmering" Here, the petulant sexual frustration expressed by the first writer is transformed into a potent evocation of the beauty and temporality of life, ending with the possible realization of another individual.
2. "What is a lesbian?" Here such potent questions as sexual orientation and religious belief are debated against the humble backdop of a cubical wall. The discussion is not limited to the initiated, for those with highly unorthodox viewpoints such as heterosexuality enter into the dialogue. As in the teaching methods of Socrates, those who do not understand are free to question, and are answered with verve and confidence. Also as in the dialogues of Socrates, the sexual mores of group members are bandied about.
3. Theory and Practice Yet again the heterosexual minority has an enlightening debate with the lesbian stall-writers, who invoce the wisdom of Adrienne Rich - perhaps a mythical figure.
4. The Club
So we see the beauty and wonder, the profound insights, the cries for help, and the
forthright addressing of embarrassing lacks of personal care products that are recorded on
these simple walls. I shall close with my favorite inscription, one particularly appropriate
to the library surroundings: "Free the bound periodicals!"
|
|
