Let's take a look at some of the good points of dorming. The good life on campus: 1. You wake up and you're right there for all your classes (except of course if your class is in Pupin or Mudd, in which case you're going to be late anyway). 2. The Ethernet (self explanatory). 3. No monthly utility bills. (You can turn your heat up full blast and open your window at the same time and nobody gives a damn. There's just no beating that.). 4. The Rolm Phones (where else is it as easy to get a 9 cents per minute rate with no catches or bullshit? Nowhere, that's right!). 5. The Ethernet and Rolm Phones together. No separate phone line! If somebody calls, you don't have to sign off to answer it. (And, if you have a speakerphone, you don't even have to use your one free hand after answering!) 6. The cleaning services. What could ease the transition from home more than having someone to clean up after you?

There are some downsides to dorming though, such as the extremely thin walls. But who doesn't enjoy listening in on a conversation or two every now and then? Better yet, this eliminates any guilt because you can't help but listen. Along with this comes hearing the alarm clock next door at 5am when you have to be up by 9. And let's not forget the sounds of fucking that just drift on through at all hours of the night. Though there are some of us who aren't really bothered by this. (Admit it, you know you like it.)

As for off-campus housing, the positives involve all that the flyers claim, but you do have to take care of EVERYTHING yourself. You have your own bathroom, but you have to clean your own bathroom as well (and yes, that means no more leaving anonymous pools of vomit on the floor because we all know you did it and we will make you clean it up). You'll have real bills now, and more bills too. Since you have to pay for Internet access and the phone calls made via your slow modem, you won't be able to laugh at the amount they've charged you. Actually, you'll be lucky if your tears don't make the ink run as you sign the checks.

People who leave the campus also lose much of the convenience experienced by those who dorm. Say goodbye to running back to your room for a 20-minute nap in-between classes because it now costs more time and money to transport yourself to and from classes. If you lock yourself out of your apartment, you have to call a real locksmith. And you will have to pay the guy too. No more freebie spare keys from URH for you. If something goes wrong with the plumbing or heating, you have to call the landlord and wait until whenever he can show up. And if the problem is your own damn fault, you'll have to shell out the bucks for parts and service, no questions asked. The days of complaining about problems to your RA who has all the answers are over. You'll have real freedom, a real life, and all the hardships and responsibility that come along with it.